Freedom
My oldest tattoo is a one-word, lower-case serif typeface, “unfazed.” It’s styled exactly like that with a period, though I honestly can’t remember why. I got it more than a decade ago, during a time when I was frustrated with myself for constantly hijacking my own thoughts.
The irony, of course, is that I went on to live many years being VERY fazed. Easily affected by people, by situations, by imaginary narratives that seemed legit but actually unfounded.
It isn’t until quite recently that I realised I’m finally starting to embody the word that has since aged and blurred on my left wrist.
The trials and tribulations of the past few years are stories for another day, but as the first entry of this “blog” (that I’m hoping to consistently keep updating), I want it known that I’m in a much better place now! Things seemed to have suddenly turned around, and I turn 38 today with so much peace, happiness, gratitude, and appreciation for this body and mind that has carried me here.
When circumstances didn’t align, the humans did. I have since gained human connections that truly matter, and I’m thankful for the universe for nudging those that I didn’t align with to zig away as I zag.
Since the start of the year, waves of gratitude have washed over me daily without fail. How am I living this perfect life now when not long ago everything seemed to have come crashing down? Painful lessons have a way of sharpening perspective, and mine left me with immense appreciation for everything good, and even everything bad, that happened to me.
It’s almost like the universe flushed everything that didn’t work out of my system, and offered me a clean slate. I am finally free. Freedom from chasing misaligned visions. Freedom from the shackles of my own sabotaging thoughts. Freedom from feign relationships that left me feeling small.
Every intended human interaction now feels so rich, and I just can’t wait to give the world back the love that it has so generously given me. I prolly won’t be completely unfazed by everything ahead, but I’m ready to give myself the freedom to meet the challenges ever so gently.
